Words that Provoke Thought, and Change

United State of Emergency

2009-11-06T11:36:00.000-08:00

Can someone please tell me how did our education system fall into the mess that it is in now? While doing research for a creative writing workshop I came across a set of staggering statistics that I knew would stick with me for a long time. 1) 48 million Americans are illiterate. 2) 50 million Americans are unable to read at a higher level that is expected of a fourth or fifth grader. 3) 52 million Americans are functional illiterate. Now considering that there are only approximately 300 million Americans in the United States, these figures should send shock waves through the core of our beings. We must be honest with ourselves and realize that we are raising a generation of kids that in ten years will not be able to read the simplest of articles in their local newspaper or the lunch specials in their local restaurants. This has me worried to the point of action and you so called poets/ spoken word artists are my focus. We have been giving the ability to manipulate words in such a way that those who have never had an interest in poetry/ spoken word are now watching HBO specials on spoken word, surfing YouTube for that one poet that speaks to the pain that they have hidden from the world for years. We have been given the ability to tell stories not only through now experiences, but through the experience of mind travel, pulling on the moments that were lived through our previous stints on earth, and while our children are failing the reading sections on standardized tests, we so called poets are at open mic's attempting to impress women with love poems, trying to sell a cd and get a date for the night. While we so called spoken word artist are at poetry slams trying to get tens across the board from judges who know nothing about spoken word our student athletes are being pushed through school because they have the skills to average ten rebounds and ten points a game. So I ask you so called poets, is getting a date for the night with a love poem more important than facilitating a creative writing workshop for middle school students? To you so called spoken word artist, is getting a perfect score in a slam more important than teaching future poets not only how to write poetry but to also read the works of other poets with understanding? I challenge all poets/ spoken word artists to use your God given talents not only to move a crowd but to change the lives of one person out of 48 million. Let’s help save a generation.

Hannah's Poem

2009-05-28T19:02:00.001-07:00

I wrote this poem for a beautiful and special soul. Her name is Hannah, and she suffers from osteogenesis imperfecta (also referred to as brittle bone disease). When I saw her smile, it prompted me to write this poem. She has inspired me to always look at what's right with life and not what's wrong. This poem will be the first poem in my book "Dedications". Read and be inspired. Read and be grateful. Read and share.

I stare into the eyes of innocence,
Captivated by the image that stares back at me
From my computer screen.
Eyes have been seen
But not like these
These eyes speak
Courage
They speak life to a dead world
A world more concerned with
Reality shows,
Than with,
Tears that fall from a mother’s soul
And no one knows
Like a mother knows
The hurt she fells when
Her porcelain angel breaks
And along with trying to hold together the pieces
Or her wings,
She tries to hold together pieces of her own soul
A fragile structure placed with in
A beautiful smile
Covered by the hand of God
From the mean city streets
Of an angry city
She encourages a poet with a daughter
She takes him by the hand
Leads him down the corridors
Of tears
My compassion taps me on the shoulder
And inspires me
Forces me to notice that she
She is barley off the ground
But she makes me look up to her
Because her spirit dances
Behind the eyelids of God
Out looks from the poet soul changes.
By a simple dance
Though miles away
I hear her laugh.
The sound fills the air
Like a Billie Holiday dream
So enjoyable
So full of reason to live

Hannah,
Meaning grace.
Grace
Meaning effortless beauty
Beauty
Meaning a delightful quality associated
With such things
As harmony of form or color
And her color r
Is
Strength
So with my pen
And her smile,
Together
We strengthen the world

And I said Yes

2009-05-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

The smell of rain forest febreeze sprayed over and old rent to own couch is the only hook
That she has to hang the
Memories of her childhood on
The only innocence she has ever known has been tampered with and
Mishandled
Played out like an old soap opera scandal
Fear grips her soul at night in the mist of her crying
And though she is not dead
Inside she’s still dieing
And I’m just trying
To restore her faith
Because it was like
All she had was faith
She needs every reason in the world to trust me
But she says it’s hard to trust someone who looks like me
So I asked her what did she mean
She sniffs, she breathes
And she said it’s hard because
Her dad looked just liked me
And she said he had eyes just like me
And she said it was hard to force herself to look past me
Because all she could see was he,
And maybe it’s just me,
but I knew that if given the chance
I could love her past whatever her eyes could see
And before she could go on
I said
Sweet heart pause and look through me and not at me
he is not like me
And then she says
Do you even understand me; I’m not looking for someone just like you
I’m just trying to find someone just to like me
Do you know what you are getting into?
I have been desensitized to love
By a man whom I was supposed to pattern my future husband after
but even after I said no
I was still forced to look at my reflection in his eyes
As he took me and treated me as if I was his own personal playground
Swinging on my innocence
Then sliding down the thin piece of fabric
that separated me from accelerated womanhood
Telling me, that all good girls did this in the neighborhood
And even if I could.
And even if I would
Could you love me past this pain?
Can you love me while I’m trying to explain?
The only thing from keeping me from going insane
Is standing in the rain
Because that’s God’s way of letting me know
That when I cry he cries
Can you battle though all of my mental scars
That refuse to heal
instead of getting frustrated
can you love me anyway
remind me because you are here
Everything will be ok
Will you be able to love me on those days
When I drift away and stare into space
Trying to find a place where pain doesn’t reside
Will you be able to look me deep into my eyes?
Because there I cant hide who I really am
Just A little girl who wants to be held
Because I never felt what it felt like to feel like a little girl when being held
To have no worries in the world
And as my world turns
Would you be able to navigate the sudden turns that
The road to my heart will lead you on
Would you understand that I need you
Even without me telling you,
Can you love me past my sleeping pills
And my antidepressants
In essence
can you love me past me and all of the emotional things that I bring
Because I bring a lot
Can you love me past the four shots that I hear every time I close my eyes because
He had to be stopped, did you hear me the first time
I bring a lot
Can you love me past the mental anguish I feel everytime I think of my older sister
Wising that I could touch her and just kiss her because
I miss her
She used death as a way of escape
Because when she tried to tell someone what went on
They just dismissed her and walked away

And some times I feel the same way
And I don’t know
At the right time
And at the right place
I might just try and use the same way of escape
Can you love God first and then love me next
If you can
I promise that I won’t get in the way
She swallowed, dropped her head
And turned away
I grabbed her face
And before she could take her second breath
And before I could take these two extensions of God
Called my arms to give her rest
I pulled her next to my chest
And whispered in her ear
YES!!!!

He Loved Me

2009-05-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

He loved me unconditionally
Faithful was he,
Never have I had a love
That caressed my inner thoughts like he
He made me feel free to think
And rest on cloud nine
Finally in my life,
Someone made me feel free to fly
He made me feel free to be me
Even though I didn’t know who I was
And because of he
I now love me some me

April 29th
He said to me one evening while watching day
Break through her shell
That if I trust him,
He would make me forget
About all my past pain
That was associated with
Those who never really loved me for me
I often wondered did God create him
Just for me

May 1st
He said loving me
Was the best thing he had ever done
That this time
He didn’t even need an excuse
To love someone,
He chuckled and said loving me was fun
He said kissing me was like placing his lips
On the softest side of heaven

On May 12th
He said that by holding me
He knew what it felt like to hold a miracle
He thanked me,

On the 13th
He said loving me was critical
That it was more than physical
It was spiritual
The material in which my being
Is made of is soft to the touch
Of his thoughts
That’s what he said

On May 21st
He said that he would prefer that I carried him
Because I was the only one
That he trust not to drop his heart
A perfect love was he
He vowed
That every time he thought of me
He would embrace himself
Because just the mere thought of me
Made him fall in love all over again
And sometimes
He just needed to be hugged
And sometimes he just needed to be loved
And no one could love him
Better than me
Because he loved me through
The late nights that I cried
The late nights that I could have died
Thinking about how my dad stole my virginity
How he made me feel less than
The queen I was destine to be
I was broken
But this man,
While on bended knee,
Some how just by his touch, mended me
He was the potter and I was his clay
And everyday
when he holds me
He re molds me
He said his hands were meant to console me
That’s what he told me
And I believed him

June 3rd
After we made love,
He said that I was his queen,
And if this moment was a dream,
Not to wake him
But the reality was,
At that time,
On that night,
At that moment
He was made to be my king
He married me a second time
And I didn’t even need another ring
Because having his heart was symbolic enough

June 12th
He said that when he was not with me
He missed me so much that
He would close his eyes
And imagine that I was tattooed
On the inside of his eyelids
So even with his eyes closed
He could still see me in color
And I understood
Because when he wasn’t with me
I did the same thing
And I can’t explain
But when I opened my eyes
I didn’t feel the same
It was like spending more time with him
Wasn’t a strain
He made loving him easy

June 24th
He told me all he wanted to do in the this lifetime
Was to please me
The way his words embraced my spirit
Convinced me
that he needed me and everything that he said
Pleased me
His actions said that
He believed in me
And every one of his thoughts
Cleaves to me
And if it feels this good to be held by thoughts
Then I pray that he never stops thinking of me

July 5th
He said that he completes me

And after I closed her diary
I sat on the edge of our bed
Inhaled and cried
Never knew reading my girlfriends diary
Would make me feel
Like the man she said that I was

It Is Written

2009-05-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

It Is Written..

As I pen this manuscript of my life,

I address it to you

So then the descriptions

Of the inscriptions

On my heart are made for you so

Give me a fountain pen filled with blood

Drawn from the veins of Cleopatra

It’s the fulfillment of your destiny

That I’m after

And I will

tattoo your future on my knees

Because the passion in my prayers for you

Run deeper than the roots on trees

And while I pray

Please feel free to intercept my prayers

And hand deliver them to God

Because the truth is sometimes I get weak

And you are the only one that I trust

To use my voice to speak

I will inscribe your womanly wisdom

In the center of my left palm

Then I will inscribe your heart

In the center of my right palm

Extend my left arm in front of the face of Jesus

And my right arm over the scriptures

Lift my head

And promise to tell the truth that is you

The whole you

And nothing but you

So help me God- Selah

I will drink the ink from you pen,

Recite love poems to myself

In your voice

Reminding me how much I love it when

You forgive me of my sins

Of not recognizing

The beauty of your skin

That God made you in

Have mercy on my soul

And caress me with your words again - amen

Then will I take the

Ruth of your spirit

Combine it with the Deborah

Of your soul

Pour it into wine skins

Carry it on my journey to the beginning

Of time to your Eve

Take a sip

Quench my thirst

Renew my trust in women

And again I say amen

Today we will exchange places with you

And I will be your Samaritan woman

Let me drink from your well

Because there I found that

You are my parable

The mysteries of my life

Are hidden beneath your tongue

I need you to speak to me

Unlock the treasures

Of my life that others want to keep from me

So the next time you and God

Have breakfast

Please don’t go without me

I promise to hold my breath

And sit silently at your feet

And listen to you and God

Have conversations on

How to treat me

I mean on how to complete me

So please don’t go with out me

I need you to put me on your hip

Let me grab your neck

Find your purple ichafu (e cha foo)

And wrap your locks

Tighten your sarong around your waist

Tie the laces of your sandals

Around your calves

Walk the dusty trails through

The Uganda Jungle

Bathe me in your African Struggles

Feed me your womanly troubles

Tell me how when you moaned

It was the creation of the universe

And how when you groaned

It was the pyramids of our pharos being birthed

Baptize me in the Nile

Today I am willing to be your child

Take me out of the water

Hold me in the air

Look at me and stare

Because today,

My soul and emotions lay bare

Let me see you smile

Lead me back to the village of our ancestors

Reach back and grab my hand

And when we arrive at

The seat of the elders

Tell them that I have become a man

Give them the permission

To anoint me king

So I can in turn receive you as my queen

Take the hyphen out of your last name

Instead let’s hyphenate love and pain

Because not only does it mean to combine

But it also means to separate

Just the same

And if our journey changes the world

God said to me

That he would take the blame

I stopped in mid stride

Held you tight

And I asked him to explain

He said that it is written

That it is not good that man should be alone

I will make him an help meet for him Gen 2:18

And for me that was enough

I Miss Her So Much

2009-05-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

My heart hurts. My soul aches. It has become apparent to me that I am lost and I need her to help me find my way, but she seems to be gone forever. I remember when I was down and needed a lift, she would show up and help me through all of my challenges. I miss her so much and sometimes I wonder if she would ever come back to me. She has inspired me to pick up my pen and write things that were beyond my comprehension. She help me convey feelings that no one would have ever known if she wasn't there. I remind people how she used to be and how she moved them like she moved me. I have looked for her everywhere. I have asked everyone that I know, have they seen her, but no one knows where she is. Some have said they have caught a glimpse of her here and there, but they were not sure if it was her or not, could have been a form of her but not her. I used to love her so much that I could not live with out her. Every where I was, she had to be there also. Not one day went by without me speaking to her, or just sitting and listening to her, it was her that made me a good listener. She forced me to sit and listen to the intimate things that one had to say, not be quick to judge, but to put myself in their shoes and understand, not only who they were, but where they came from, and for that I am forever grateful. She made me better. I write because of her. I perform because of her. I know that I may never see her again and that makes my heart bleed, and my spirit cry. I know that she may be gone forever but I promised myself that I would continue to look for her because I know that she is out there, and she may be looking for me. She was once married to me and somewhere down the line she let others convince her that she was better off alone and if there was one fault she had, she was easily persuaded, but I still had faith that she would always be around. Even if she didn't want to be close to me, I would accept loving her from afar because loving her was all that I wanted to do, and she let me, and I was happy, but now she is gone. Some people have suggest to me to let her go and move on, but I refuse because I believe in her, and I believe that she is coming back to me and when she does, I promise not to let go of her. Call me crazy, but this is what I will do for Hip Hop, because I miss her so very much.

Today I Start to Take Over The World of Words

2009-01-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

Simply today is the day that I start to take over the world of words