I Miss Her So Much

My heart hurts. My soul aches. It has become apparent to me that I am lost and I need her to help me find my way, but she seems to be gone forever. I remember when I was down and needed a lift, she would show up and help me through all of my challenges. I miss her so much and sometimes I wonder if she would ever come back to me. She has inspired me to pick up my pen and write things that were beyond my comprehension. She help me convey feelings that no one would have ever known if she wasn't there. I remind people how she used to be and how she moved them like she moved me. I have looked for her everywhere. I have asked everyone that I know, have they seen her, but no one knows where she is. Some have said they have caught a glimpse of her here and there, but they were not sure if it was her or not, could have been a form of her but not her. I used to love her so much that I could not live with out her. Every where I was, she had to be there also. Not one day went by without me speaking to her, or just sitting and listening to her, it was her that made me a good listener. She forced me to sit and listen to the intimate things that one had to say, not be quick to judge, but to put myself in their shoes and understand, not only who they were, but where they came from, and for that I am forever grateful. She made me better. I write because of her. I perform because of her. I know that I may never see her again and that makes my heart bleed, and my spirit cry. I know that she may be gone forever but I promised myself that I would continue to look for her because I know that she is out there, and she may be looking for me. She was once married to me and somewhere down the line she let others convince her that she was better off alone and if there was one fault she had, she was easily persuaded, but I still had faith that she would always be around. Even if she didn't want to be close to me, I would accept loving her from afar because loving her was all that I wanted to do, and she let me, and I was happy, but now she is gone. Some people have suggest to me to let her go and move on, but I refuse because I believe in her, and I believe that she is coming back to me and when she does, I promise not to let go of her. Call me crazy, but this is what I will do for Hip Hop, because I miss her so very much.