And I said Yes

The smell of rain forest febreeze sprayed over and old rent to own couch is the only hook
That she has to hang the
Memories of her childhood on
The only innocence she has ever known has been tampered with and
Mishandled
Played out like an old soap opera scandal
Fear grips her soul at night in the mist of her crying
And though she is not dead
Inside she’s still dieing
And I’m just trying
To restore her faith
Because it was like
All she had was faith
She needs every reason in the world to trust me
But she says it’s hard to trust someone who looks like me
So I asked her what did she mean
She sniffs, she breathes
And she said it’s hard because
Her dad looked just liked me
And she said he had eyes just like me
And she said it was hard to force herself to look past me
Because all she could see was he,
And maybe it’s just me,
but I knew that if given the chance
I could love her past whatever her eyes could see
And before she could go on
I said
Sweet heart pause and look through me and not at me
he is not like me
And then she says
Do you even understand me; I’m not looking for someone just like you
I’m just trying to find someone just to like me
Do you know what you are getting into?
I have been desensitized to love
By a man whom I was supposed to pattern my future husband after
but even after I said no
I was still forced to look at my reflection in his eyes
As he took me and treated me as if I was his own personal playground
Swinging on my innocence
Then sliding down the thin piece of fabric
that separated me from accelerated womanhood
Telling me, that all good girls did this in the neighborhood
And even if I could.
And even if I would
Could you love me past this pain?
Can you love me while I’m trying to explain?
The only thing from keeping me from going insane
Is standing in the rain
Because that’s God’s way of letting me know
That when I cry he cries
Can you battle though all of my mental scars
That refuse to heal
instead of getting frustrated
can you love me anyway
remind me because you are here
Everything will be ok
Will you be able to love me on those days
When I drift away and stare into space
Trying to find a place where pain doesn’t reside
Will you be able to look me deep into my eyes?
Because there I cant hide who I really am
Just A little girl who wants to be held
Because I never felt what it felt like to feel like a little girl when being held
To have no worries in the world
And as my world turns
Would you be able to navigate the sudden turns that
The road to my heart will lead you on
Would you understand that I need you
Even without me telling you,
Can you love me past my sleeping pills
And my antidepressants
In essence
can you love me past me and all of the emotional things that I bring
Because I bring a lot
Can you love me past the four shots that I hear every time I close my eyes because
He had to be stopped, did you hear me the first time
I bring a lot
Can you love me past the mental anguish I feel everytime I think of my older sister
Wising that I could touch her and just kiss her because
I miss her
She used death as a way of escape
Because when she tried to tell someone what went on
They just dismissed her and walked away

And some times I feel the same way
And I don’t know
At the right time
And at the right place
I might just try and use the same way of escape
Can you love God first and then love me next
If you can
I promise that I won’t get in the way
She swallowed, dropped her head
And turned away
I grabbed her face
And before she could take her second breath
And before I could take these two extensions of God
Called my arms to give her rest
I pulled her next to my chest
And whispered in her ear
YES!!!!